A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. 2. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it." —Unknown. $19.99 $ 19. Dirty, funny and sexy images to make you chuckle. "You've got to be the worst caddie in the world!" he yelled. 22. Love It 1. 3. Big pupils lead to big scores. - Lee Trevino. I think about you a little more than I should. Keep your head down. Dirty Grandpa Jason Kelly is one week away from marrying his boss's uber-controlling daughter, putting him on the fast track for a partnership at the law firm. We have a threesome, care to join us? He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. "I always said you have to be really smart or really dumb to play this game well. You need to adjust your grip. The only time I'll let go of your hand is to grab your ass.". Phyllis Diller Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. 1) He lived at home until he was 30. Chip: Time to get our nails done again. He said, "it looks good sir, but I'm more of a fan of golf, myself." -Happy Gilmore. 24. Strike while the iron is hot. On the Green In Two. Shut up and drive. Sam Snead "Of all the hazards, fear is the worst." 40. Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small town bar. "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.". Golfer: It's my lucky ball. Not even God can hit a 1-iron." I will sit on the Iron Throne. 8. Will and Guy'sHelpful Guide to Female Golfing Terms. "If you worry about making bogeys, it makes the game that much more difficult. Funny Golf Stories: Apart from golf jokes, here are some of the wonderful and funny golf stories for you. Green there, done that. Get in the hole! 7. After 18 holes I can barely walk. Suddenly the sky begins to darken and a million ducks envelop the golfers. Shop affordable wall art to hang in dorms, bedrooms, offices, or anywhere blank walls aren't welcome. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. share joke. (Input your H.S. A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. Funny Golf Meme Tee The Ball Lower They Said Image. Show some respect.". Then there's the Scotsman who gave up golf after 20 years. Sure, but only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure. Bob Lewis. "If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. 3. Fantasy Basketball Armchair Perpetual Trophy. 18 Funny Golf Quotes — One Laugh for Every Hole! 34. The Funeral Procession. Rule with an iron first. Not all men are created eagle. Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy. Green there, done that. 24/24. "Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. There are four files to make something for all your golf buddies and even your golf caddie! Shop dirty laundry quote t-shirts created by independent artists from around the globe. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron.". 8. Golf is a game, invented by God to punish guys who retire early. Mar 14, 2021 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. Caddy: 2 women talking about a 3rd, who isn't there to. 9. Lee Trevino. Confucius say: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. 9. - Lee Trevino. You know you're a hack when your divot flies farther than your ball! He looks at the frog and . -Happy Gilmore. Not all men are created eagle. Mark Twain "Golf is a good walk spoiled" 39. Basketball is a sport for black men. These trophies are perfect for anyone with a sense of humor and sure to bring a smile to the recipient's face. She brought 10 pairs of shoes except the coral ones. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. Fairway: Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch. 2. Your throat. Quotes. — Dean Martin. You drive me crazy. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. Caddyshack Rules Sign Poster. And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can't dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up. Tee'd Off / Teeing Off / Now for the Tee-Off. "I should have brought the coral shoes." Lisa. 5. By magjarvis. Select from the best slogans for shirts, banners, posters, t-shirts, jerseys, signs, warm-ups, locker room, and more. "I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either" - Arnold Palmer. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?". He lost his ball. 5. If he makes his 10-foot putt, he wins $200. If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot. $22.85. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. Harvey Penick "The woods are full of long drivers." 37. Hold up. "I have never seen you show anybody any respect.". If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute. Funny Golf One Liners 2022. Funny Family Joke - 9. 6. 3. - Al Boliska. He attacks it. Rule with an iron first. Nuts! Click me to show the form! Quotes tagged as "gold" Showing 1-30 of 356. Mini Golf Captions. "Happiness is a long walk with a putter" — Greg Norman 38. 5 out of 5 stars. Damn, my shaft's all bent. However, when the straight-laced Jason is tricked into driving his foul-mouthed grandfather, Dick, to Daytona Bye Bye Birdie. TrophyPartner.com is your source for funny gag trophies. I stepped on a rake.". "Go back to your playpen, Baby." Golf svgs bundle, love golf, golf t-shirt quotes, 10 golf cut files, funny golf quotes, golf lovers svgs, silhouette cut file, svg,dxf, png Ad by 1VisionDrive Ad from shop 1VisionDrive 1VisionDrive From shop 1VisionDrive. You can never start too young! The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. It bends a little to the left. Peter Dobereiner "The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two." 41. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 20. Votes: 4. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Just tap it in. Bye Bye Birdie. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. Votes: 4. "I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's game: it's called an eraser." — Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently. JoyandChaos. If you want to disable cookies for your browser, just click here to change that. (Input your H.S. Confucius say: Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes. Dirty Talk Text Messages for Her (Dirty Talking to Your Girlfriend Quotes): "I am not going anywhere. The bundle includes these four funny golf files: Let's Par Tee. Fear shows up when there is an enlargement of the pupils. Funny Golf Meme The Wife Love This Image. Chip Shot. I am Iron Man. 1. Our balls are lost School is for students who can't play golf Chicks with sticks Golfers have longer shafts Silly boys, Golf is for Girls Prayers never are answered on golf course You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Don't even putt. Here's our huge collection of golfing slogans, phrases, sayings, mottos, and quotes. 27 Absolutely Hilarious and Dirty Pictures. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. 7. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Confucius say: He who eats too many prunes, sits on . FREE Shipping on orders over $25 shipped by Amazon. I'm pretty good with my short putts. Just ask my ex -wives. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." It's not that I'm horny all the time. Tony Duffy/Getty Images. 6. "I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either" - Arnold Palmer. — Tommy Bolt. You drive me crazy. - Tiger Woods. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our visitor agreement (updated 1/1/20), privacy and cookies notice (updated 1/1/20) and california privacy notice . Jesus and Moses are playing golf in Heaven when they come to the par-3 17th hole, a long carry over water to an island green. Sam Snead Don't play too much golf. We print the highest quality dirty laundry quote t-shirts on the internet. Stay humble and put your eagle aside. 3. Tiger Woods wanna-be. 4. (9,787) $3.50. Mini Golf Captions. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] 56 Golf Pick Up Lines Many golfing terms sound naughty. On the Green In Two. 0. 1 /24. Nuts! 78.39 % / 515 votes. "Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?". Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose. Funny Golf Meme It Takes A Lot Of Balls To Golf The Way I Do Picture. It makes a difference to take it easy when things aren't going right." -Sergio Garcia 6. Real golfers have two handicaps: one for braggin' and one for betting'. - Jack Nicklaus. A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. Featured 01/13/2016 in Funny. So the friend asks the genie for, "a million bucks.". Queen of the Green. The Eraser… 5. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. 4. A Lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood. The pro asked: "Did you guys have a good game today?" The first golfer said: "Yes, I had three riders today." One day a funeral procession drives by the course. 6. Dirty Golf Sayings 1. Funny Golf Meme Who Gets Hurt Playing Golf Image. Hockey is a sport for white men. What rhymes with kick? Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. defend herself. - Muhammad Ali when asked about his golf game. 9- Iron". Unique Golf Quotes Posters designed and sold by artists. After 18 holes I can barely walk. Here you will find top ten Funny Sex Quotes and Sayings selected by our team. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Just turn your back and drop it. Mar 13, 2021 - Explore Procella Umbrella's board "Funny Golf Memes", followed by 279 people on Pinterest. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Long Golf Joke. name here) Ladies Golf… Give me Golf or give me Death! "That teabag was actually better the . Save more with Subscribe & Save. Funny Golf Meme The Part Of The Game Photo. - George Deukmejian. Try choking donw on the shaft. 18 Holes Luck? Choose from toilets, bobble heads, horse's rears, golden plungers, and much . 99. One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, money, women. 78.47 % / 451 votes. classic movie, caddy, golf, humor, funny, dirty, cult classic, bill murray, chevy chase, retro, bar sign, man cave. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. So I tied her to the chair and went to the driving range." I asked my caddie what he thought of my game. Baby says this to Johnny after he breaks a window in his car to open it since he left his keys in there. "Hey," yells to disappointed golfer. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Strike while the iron is hot. "I doubt it," replied the caddie, dead-pan. Have a good round—may the fours be with you. 2. Rally your golf team, inspire your fans, and liven up the crowd! 8. "Except me mammy, of course!" "Well then," says Seamus. One of the other men asks what's got into him. From shop JoyandChaos. Golf Quotes. Just tap it in. "I would rather cuddle then have sex. — William Wordsworth. Basketball is a sport for black men. Shut up and drive. "Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.". Jesus takes out his 5-iron and says, "I'm going to hit a 5-iron because Arnold Palmer would hit a 5-iron from here.". Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. The best thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it is only two minutes long. Dave Barry If you drink, don't drive. GOLF JOKE 7. Done! How many strokes was that? Get it as soon as Fri, May 6. It's just that you're always fucking sexy. Man: "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass." A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. Harry Vardon The average golfer doesn't play golf. Joke has 85.85 % from 2026 votes. 2. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, golf quotes. 9 of 50. Top Golf Captions For Instagram. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron.". "A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it." -Davis Love Jr. "Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.". The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. I like big putts and I cannot lie. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Golf Quotes Inspirational Funny Golf Quotes For Women Funny Life Quotes Love Golf Quotes Quotes About Golf Famous Golf Quotes Quotes And Sayings About Golfers Influence Quotes And Sayings Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. And when you done laughing at these, check out the constant influx of funny pictures that we get uploaded to our site all day long. We carry joke awards for both businesses and sports. Double Bogie: 'Casablanca' followed by 'African Queen'. Maybe Drag-racing is quicker, but I have never been attracted to it. They are on their way to practice lifts. Best golf jokes: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. Add to Favorites . Mind if I join your threesome? The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. name here) Ladies Golf… The FORCE is strong with us! We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. 3. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. 4.7 out of 5 stars 159. "My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects." —Les Dawson. The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. 23. "My wife said I play so much golf it's driving a wedge between us." "I came home to my wife in lingerie… she said I could tie her up and do whatever I wanted. - Jack Nicklaus. Sunday Service "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." —brockoli117 on Reddit.com Check out these hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to make you smile. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. My shaft is bent. "A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it." -Davis Love Jr. "Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.". Four golfers who like to gamble wind up in the same foursome. I just haven't played yet.". If you drink, don't drive. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. Another Ball in the Trees. Shanker Golf Balls - Rude Trick Balls with Funny Sayings (6 Ball Gift Pack, Novelty Gag, Playing Quality) - Hero Edition - The #1 Ball for Shite Golfers. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. You put more pressure on yourself without even noticing it. Payne Stewart Kiss My Putt. "Golf is a puzzle without an answer. Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? "The difference between golf and government is that in golf, you can't improve your lie.". I am Iron Man. 7. Lisa says this to her mom in the car. Helpful Not Helpful. - Phyllis Diller. "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. "Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot." — Dave Marr 36. Confucius say: Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers! Tiger Woods "No matter how good you get, you can always get better — and that's the exciting part." 38. What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? It is the quickest event in sports, except for Sumo-wrestling & Mike Tyson fights. The genie replied, hops back into the golf bag and leaves the golfers standing there waiting for the "million bucks.". Stay humble and put your eagle aside. "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." —Robert A. Heinlein. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. 3. One man says to the others: "Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. Cookies are currently enabled to maximize your TeePublic experience. Moses tees off with a 3-wood and hits the green. Babe Didrikson Zaharias The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. 1. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. Four golfers went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. Jack Burke For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. Dirty Golf Sayings. Dirty Grandpa Quotes Total quotes: 5 Show Metadata Hide Metadata. I have to admit I was cracking myself up a bit when I made these files. Thank your lucky stars. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. It will lead you to your dream." -James Ross 4. Golf Bachelor Party Favor Can Coolers in Bulk - Custom Golf Can Cooler Set - Groomsmen Gifts - Golf Trip Beer Can Sleeves. One liner tags: age, communication, dirty, women, work. Discover and share Dirty Quotes For Women Golfers. Another Ball in the Trees. Golfing Quotes "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture." -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf." -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. "I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.". More jokes about: golf, husband, marriage, sport, wife. Bestseller. World's Okayest Golfer. I will sit on the Iron Throne. JmStorm. View Quote | Add a comment. Funny Golf Meme Who Say Golfer's Aren't Athletes Picture. 5 out of 5 stars (343) $ 6.59. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.". Add to Favorites. - Henry Youngman. 4. A golfer was having a terrible round — 20-over par for the front nine with scores of balls lost in water or rough. The man who takes up golf to get his mind off . Chip Shot. "Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot." —Dave Marr "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." —Jack Lemmon "It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." —Mark Twain "Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at." —Dave Hill What's the best waterslide for kids? Ad by JoyandChaos Ad from shop JoyandChaos. Lift your head and spread your legs. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be . Look at the size of his putter. The pot builds throughout the day until they reach the 18th green, where Charlie has a chance to putt for dough. Drumstick. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.". Not even God can hit a 1-iron.". 5. It took one afternoon on the golf course." — Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. I enjoy shooting in the 120's. Spread your legs a little more. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. My shaft is bent. I just don't know where I fit in." — Beth Daniel 37. When they got into the car, the mother said, "Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your panties." "Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. . "I'm the best. 23. Golf slogans, golf phrases, and golf sayings can unite, inspire and motivate. Two rounds a day are plenty. "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. 1.

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